As of now? I have started over everything with a clean slate. I'm a new person each day and have decided to live life one day at a time. Only one problem. I may be a guarded person. Actually, scratch that. I AM a guarded person and I have the guts to admit to it. I don't like showing people my insecurities, or allowing myself to become vulnerable when my friends surround me. Which is one of the main reasons why I created this blog. Somehow, I have to find it within me to let this hefty wall lift up so I can let myself and my screaming emotions pour out into a level of openness I call venting. It may be that I don't want other people feeling sorry for me, or the fact that I don't think whatever is on my mind is anybody's business but in order for me to feel "refreshed", "rejuvinated".. I need to let everything out.
Which is why I have returned to writing in my blog. The overwhelming burden I feel has consumed my whole being, has a way to escape. From my fingers tapping the keyboard onto this screen that is open to the world. Is it bad that I would rather tell others about what's going on in my life rather than my friends? Maybe... But at least I can explain everything without having to cover my face that is chock full of embarrassment, shame and regret.
With that note and not getting into TOO much detail, homework is calling my name.
I will leave all the venting to tomorrow :)
